#guro is one of the best humans i have the luck to meet in person

[mental-health-advice]

Submittion from Bloody-dreams

tag bloody-dreams. I’m wondering if I should be concerned about certain thoughts that I’ve been having for a long time now. I enjoy looking and guro/gore both in art and irl. I know that it’s not something that everyone enjoys, but I like the look of blood. I have self-harmed for various reasons, just seeing blood being one (I’ve only done it when I’m having severe emotional distress, ie threat of being homeless). I would rather hurt myself than to hurt others. My family that I currently live with (aunt and uncle) are Trump supporters and my aunt is a Good Christian Woman (if you can tell what I mean). They have constantly held the fact that they let me live with them over my head and have basically forced me to do what they want. They even drew up a “contract” that I had absolutely zero say in. Anyways, I have felt like hurting them (or myself; self-harm, and suicidal thoughts). I’m afraid that one day I could ‘snap’ and actually do something that I will regret. More recently however I’ve been thinking of getting a cage and some mice. Figure out how to humanely kill them (or just at least one) and dissect it. I’ve also thought about taking the bat in my car to something to vent my anger. I’ve thought of taking a hammer to my leg or hand, putting my leg in a door and slamming it, buying cigarettes just so that I can burn myself (I vowed to never smoke because my grandma died of it, and I promised my mom). I do plan on telling my therapist all of this when I go for my next meeting (this thursday), but I have no idea what she’ll say or think (especially since we haven’t really gotten to the topic of self-harm) and I want to know of what things I might ask her in the future about this. Or at least of some ways I can vent these feelings in a safe way.

Hey there, bloody-dreams. I hope that your day is going well! It is really nice out where I am, so maybe if it’s nice where you are you should go outside and get some fresh air. That always seems to make me feel better. I understand why you would be frustrated with these people. I also understand why you would be concerned with these thoughts. I can give you my thoughts and some advice on this subject.

You said that you would be willing to talk with your therapist. If you haven’t done that already then I would suggest that. Your therapist can give you some advice on how to get rid of these thoughts and how to cope better. They could help you with your self-harm problem as well. When it comes to talking with your therapist, you could start with self-harm and then bring up the other bad thoughts. If you find it hard to tell her directly then I recommend writing it on paper.

If you are having trouble with self-harm, I’ll try my best to give you advice. I would suggest some alternatives to self-harming. If you cut so that you can see blood, I would suggest putting red food coloring on your arm, drawing with red marker, or painting with paint. I would also recommend using distractions whenever you get thoughts like these. If you want to self-harm, try to distract yourself with something that you enjoy. I like to play video games and help out on this blog to distract myself. Try to make a list to refer to whenever you feel bad.

When it comes to gore and guro, I think it kinda of depends on the person. I think it is okay to view these things. The reason why people find gore and stuff like this interesting is because it is frightening and therefore stimulating. It is also something that is taboo which draws a lot of people to it. So I don’t think liking gore is 100% bad. I say this, but I also want to say that it is not 100% good either. I know that I like gore but I tended to look at it when I was more depressed. Gore may also be fueling your thoughts of harming others. So I think you need to think if it is hurting you or not.

I know that you can get through this! Remember that we have a live chat service that is available to everyone. You can send in a request or see if an admin has posted that they are online. If you feel like you are in immediate danger please go to the hospital. I want you to be safe.

I wish you luck!

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-Rachel

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